Mastering the Art of Guest List Creation
The guest list shapes everything - venue size, catering costs, and atmosphere. Irish weddings often face unique challenges with large extended families and community expectations. Here's how to navigate guest list politics gracefully.
Starting Your List
Begin with must-have guests - immediate family and closest friends. Create tiers: A-list (must invite), B-list (would like to invite), C-list (if space/budget allows). Consider venue capacity before getting attached to numbers. Remember: average Irish wedding has 150-180 guests. Budget roughly €100-150 per guest for full day.
Family Negotiations
Allocate guest numbers fairly: couple gets 50%, parents split remaining 50%. Set clear boundaries on plus-ones and children early. Address the Irish "obligation invite" tradition diplomatically. Handle divorced parents' separate lists sensitively. Be firm about not inviting relatives you've never met.
Plus-One Politics
Married couples and long-term partners always invited together. Consider plus-ones for wedding party members. Single guests who won't know anyone might need plus-one. Draw clear line on casual dating partners. Use "and guest" sparingly to control numbers.
Children Decisions
All-or-none approach works best for fairness. If including children, consider: kids' meals, entertainment, and changing facilities. If adults-only, communicate clearly and early. Offer childcare information for out-of-town guests. Exception: babies under 12 months often accepted.
Work Colleague Dilemmas
Invite all or none from immediate team to avoid hurt feelings. Consider separate evening reception for wider colleagues. Boss invitation depends on relationship beyond work. Don't feel obligated to reciprocate wedding invitations. Keep wedding chat minimal at work if not inviting everyone.
Managing the B-List
Send B-list invitations after first RSVP deadline passes. Ensure B-list guests receive invites 6+ weeks before wedding. Never mention B-list status to anyone. Keep careful track to avoid double-inviting. Consider if you'll be hurt if B-list guests realize their status.
The Evening Guest Option
Irish tradition allows expanding celebration for evening. Clearly mark invitations "Evening Reception from 8pm". Provide light food for evening arrivals. Ensure band/DJ knows about evening guest arrival time. Don't assume evening-only guests give gifts.
Digital Management Tools
Use spreadsheets with categories: invited, RSVP status, meal choice, table assignment. Track addresses, thank you notes sent, and gifts received. Share guest list with partner and update together. Keep notes about relationships for seating chart. Export for place cards and catering lists.
Real Wisdom
"We started with 250 on our wish list. By being honest about who we'd miss if they weren't there, we got to 175. Every single guest at our wedding was someone we genuinely wanted to celebrate with." - Orla, 2023